Showing results by author "Dicholas Chad Pansy" in All Categories

This book won't change your life—because you're the only one who can do that, and let's be honest, you probably won't. But it will make you laugh, cringe in recognition, and maybe—just maybe—inspire you to stop blaming the universe for your problems and start making actual changes.

I Can Fix Him (But First Let Me Break Myself Completely) is the brutally honest, laugh-out-loud survival guide for every woman who has ever tried to date a human red flag and call it a healing journey. This isn't your typical relationship advice book. It’s a full-blown exorcism of the Savior Complex, delivered with biting wit, surgical sarcasm, and the clarity that only comes after crying in your car for the fifth time this month.

WARNING: This is NOT a book for decisive people. If you know what you want in life and confidently make choices without having a full-blown existential meltdown, please move along. This book is for overthinkers, procrastinators, and chronically indecisive disasters who would rather launch themselves into the sun than commit to literally anything.

You thought dating was hard before? Try dating someone who live-streams their coffee order, documents every minor inconvenience for engagement, and will 100% use your relationship as content. This brutally honest, hilariously unhinged guide will walk you through the emotional minefield of modern romance, covering critical topics like: Why their phone gets more eye contact than you. How to spot the red flags (hint: if they own a ring light, run).

Life is exhausting. People expect enthusiasm, deep emotional connections, and basic human engagement. Annoying. But guess what? You don’t actually have to care—you just have to look like you do. This book is not about healing. It’s about perfecting the fine art of detachment while still participating in society just enough to avoid suspicion.

Congratulations! You’ve matched with a Tech Bro. Maybe he built a “disruptive” app that nobody asked for. Maybe he describes himself as an “entrepreneur” but lives with four roommates. Maybe he just pitched you a startup idea during your first date. Either way, welcome to the rollercoaster ride that is dating a man who thinks “Web3” is a personality. This hilariously brutal field guide will help you navigate, survive, and ultimately regret your decision to date a man whose primary relationship is with his second monitor.

From the deeply unqualified mind behind every bad decision you’ve ever made comes "What Am I Even Doing? (No Seriously, Someone Tell Me)," a deeply unhelpful guide to overanalyzing your entire existence, making terrible impulse purchases, and aggressively avoiding reality. In this book, you’ll find zero useful advice, but you WILL find an emotional breakdown disguised as a shopping spree—because spending $500 on throw pillows is easier than going to therapy.

This is not a self-help book. This is a validation of your deeply chaotic existence—a hilarious, biting, and painfully relatable deep dive into the spirals, overthinking, and worst-case-scenario fantasies that come with having a brain that refuses to chill.

I Can Save Her: The Unauthorized Guide to Misreading Trauma as Flirtation is a brutally honest, darkly hilarious exposé of every man who thought “she’s been through a lot” meant “I have a chance.”

Are you tired of people being happy around you? Do you dream of a world where no one dares to enjoy life in your presence? Congratulations! You’ve just found the ultimate guide to turning every interaction into an awkward, joyless nightmare. Whether it’s crushing enthusiasm, ruining weddings, or making sure no one ever tells you good news again, this book will teach you everything you need to become a certified Debbie Downer.

Are you tired of thinking until your brain hurts? Sick of caring about every little disaster life throws at you? Done with the “personal growth” scam that just leaves you broke and eating kale? Then Live, Laugh, Lobotomy is your ticket to freedom—the kind that comes from ditching stress, worries, and any shred of responsibility for a lifestyle of cheerful, blissful vacancy. This isn’t your grandma’s self-help book; it’s a sarcastic, biting manifesto for erasing overthinking and embracing the art of not giving a damn.

Are you one minor inconvenience away from a full-blown existential crisis? Do you regularly Google how to do your own job while hoping nobody notices? Ever sat in a meeting nodding thoughtfully while having no clue what’s happening? Congratulations! You’re just like everyone else. This book is a highly questionable, deeply unserious guide to: Looking like you have your life together while internally screaming.

"Therapy is Expensive, So I Just Gaslight Myself" is the ultimate self-help book for people who have absolutely no intention of helping themselves. Filled with bad coping mechanisms, self-deception strategies, and the sheer audacity to pretend everything is fine, this book is here to validate your disastrous life choices.

Are you tired of getting ghosted? Sick of waiting for that text back that will never come? Ever wondered how you, too, can master the art of emotional escape artistry? Good news, coward! This book is here to validate your worst instincts and teach you how to disappear like a true professional. Whether you’ve been ghosted, have done the ghosting, or just love chaotic dating disasters, this book is your hilarious, deeply unhinged guide to modern romance at its absolute worst.

Congratulations! You’ve found yet another self-help book that you’ll skim through, feel briefly inspired by, and then completely ignore while continuing to make the same bad decisions.

Did I just embarrass myself? (Probably, but let’s obsess over it for 12 hours.) Welcome to the official handbook for people who replay every conversation they've ever had like it's a humiliating movie they didn’t consent to star in.

ATTENTION PERFECTIONISTS: If you’ve ever rewritten an email 14 times, physically cringed at a typo, or spent an hour debating whether to sign off with "Best" or "Sincerely"—this book is your personal attack. Do you spend an obscene amount of time making sure every minor detail of your life is flawless, only to burn out like an overheated laptop from 2006? Do you find yourself rewriting text messages to ensure they sound casual, yet professional, yet witty, yet effortless, yet not like you're trying too hard, but also not like you don’t care?

If you’ve ever found yourself in a conversation thinking, “I have no idea what I’m talking about”—this book is your salvation. In The Bullsht Artist’s Handbook*, self-proclaimed overthinker and professional nonsense generator Dicholas Chad Pansy offers a brutally honest, wildly practical guide to dominating conversations, debates, meetings, and social events with zero actual knowledge. No degrees, facts, or preparation required—just the audacity to sound like you know what you’re doing.

Packed with toxic affirmations, unnecessary rants, and advice so bad it circles back to genius, Ruin Your Life Now is like a car crash you can’t stop watching—except the car is your life and you’re the one behind the wheel, blindfolded.

Are you tired of being emotionally stable? Do you wish you could turn every minor interaction into a full-blown existential crisis? Look no further than Maybe I'm the Problem? – the ultimate guide to professional self-gaslighting and strategic overthinking. From the brilliantly neurotic mind of Dicholas Chad Pansy comes a self-help book that will definitely not help you at all. Inside, you’ll learn essential skills like: Turning a simple "Hey" text into a three-day analysis of your entire life. Convincing yourself that your perfectly fine presentation was actually a career-ending disaster.