Showing results by author "Bernice Bloom" in All Categories

Mary Brown is funny, gorgeous, and bonkers. She's also about six stone overweight. When she realises she can't cross her legs, has trouble bending over to tie her shoelaces without wheezing like an elderly chain-smoker, and discovers even her hands and feet look fat, it's time to take action. But what action? She's tried every diet under the sun. This is the hysterical story of what happens when Mary joins "Fat Club", where she meets a cast of funny characters and one particular man who catches her eye.

Mary Brown is funny, gorgeous, and bonkers. She's also about 50lbs overweight. When she realises that she can't cross her legs and has trouble bending over to tie her shoelaces without wheezing like an elderly chain-smoker, it's time to take action. So, one rainy day she puts down her pizza and heads off to Fat Club, where she flirts, causes mayhem, and celebrates every pound lost with a huge glass of wine.

Mary Brown receives an invitation to a funeral. But she has absolutely no idea who the deceased is. She’s told that he invited her on his deathbed, and he’s very keen for her to attend, so she heads off to a dilapidated old farmhouse in a remote part of Wales. When she gets there she discovers that only five other people have been invited to the funeral. None of them know who he is either.

The adorable fat girl needs to do something to get fit, so she tries yoga. She signs up for a weekend retreat, packs up assorted snacks, and heads for the countryside to get in touch with her chi and her third eye. And that's when it all goes wrong. Featuring frantic chickens, an unexpected mud bath, men in loose-fitting shorts and no pants, calamitous headstands, a bizarre new friendship with a yoga guru, and a quick hospital trip.

Mary Brown - our full-figured heroine - is off on a cruise. It's the trip of a lifetime...featuring eat-all-you-can buffets and a trek through Europe with a 96-year-old widower called Frank and a flamboyant Spanish dancer called Juan Pedro. Then there's the desperately handsome captain, the appearance of an ex-boyfriend on the ship, the time she's mistaken for a Hollywood film star in Lisbon, and tons of clothes shopping all over Europe.

Mary Brown is in lockdown. She’s all nothing for weeks, and is living on a diet of cake and wine. She’s really up before midday and spends her time eating every box that she can get her hands on. Then, she has an idea.... Instead of just eating the cake, why doesn’t she judge it? She should organize a World Cup of cakes. With Juan, her trusty sidekick, she sets up the competition with meticulous detail, and the whole thing goes viral. Featuring: home dyed hair, talking to potatoes, internet shopping, and birdwatching. And loads of cake.

Hooray, it's Christmas! It's the Adorable Fat Girl's favorite time of year, and she embraces it with the sort of thrill and excitement normally reserved for toddlers seeing jelly tots. Our funny, gorgeous, and bonkers heroine finds herself dancing from party to party, covered in tinsel, decorating the Beckhams' Christmas tree, dressing up as Father Christmas, declaring live on This Morning that she's a drug addict and enjoying two Christmas lunches in quick succession. She's the party queen as she stumbles wildly from disaster to disaster....

A chance meeting with an old school friend sends Mary Brown off on three fabulous adventures. First, it’s to a safari in South Africa. She arrives dressed like Meryl Streep in Out of Africa and ends the trip stuck in a tree wearing nothing but her knickers.

Mary Brown, our fabulous, full-figured heroine, is off on safari with an old school friend. What could possibly go wrong? Lots of things, it turns out. Mary starts off on the wrong foot by turning up dressed in a ribbon-bedecked bonnet, having channeled Meryl Streep from Out of Africa. She falls in lust with a khaki-clad ranger half her age and ends up stuck in a tree wearing nothing but her knickers while sandwiched between two inquisitive baboons.

Mary Brown is the star of the Adorable Fat Girl series: she's gorgeous, curvaceous, and wants to find a boyfriend. But where's she going to meet someone new? She doesn't want to hang around pubs all evening (actually that bit's not true), and she doesn't want to have to get out of her pyjamas unless really necessary (that bit's true). There's only one thing for it - she will launch herself majestically onto the dating scene.

Mary Brown is the star of the Adorable Fat Girl series. She's funny, gorgeous, and bonkers, and when the series starts, she's seriously overweight. She heads for Fat Club and slowly starts to lose weight. The novels tell the tales of the fun she has and the people she meets as she battles the pounds. As well as having a crazy amount of fun, she also loses weight...a massive 40 pounds! How did she do it? Here in this audiobook - for the first time - she describes the rules that helped her. Also included are the stories of readers who have written in to share their weight loss stories.

Lisa Lopez is returning to Cove Bay after spending two months in New York recovering from heartbreak. But when she returns, will she be able to resist the charms of Peter - the wealthy, sophisticated lawyer with whom she was so desperately in love before he broke her heart into a million pieces? And what of Matt - the scruffy baseball coach with a warm heart and a kind soul - will he be able to win her over?

Mary Brown is back to her mad and crazy best as she heads to Portugal for a weight loss camp and discovers it’s nothing like she expected. Mary wants to hide from the instructors and cheat the system. The trouble is, her mum is with her, and won’t leave her alone for a second...Then there's the angry instructor with the deep, dark secret about why he left the army. And what about Yvonne - the slim, attractive lady who sneaks off every night after dinner. Where's she going?

Hooray, it's Christmas! Mary Brown's favorite time of year, and she embraces it with the sort of thrill and excitement normally reserved for toddlers seeing jelly tots. Our funny, gorgeous, and bonkers heroine finds herself dancing from party to party, covered in tinsel, decorating the Beckhams' Christmas tree, dressing up as Father Christmas, declaring live on This Morning that she's a drug addict, and enjoying two Christmas lunches in quick succession.