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How to Be You

Say Goodbye to Should, Would and Could so That You Can

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How to Be You

By: Ellie Middleton
Narrated by: Ellie Middleton
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

The latest feel-good book packed with practical tips from the author of the smash-hit book on ADHD, autism and neurodivergence, UNMASKED.

Ellie Middleton is back with a new, practical book to help you work WITH your neurodivergent brain rather than AGAINST it. In each chapter, she writes about the eight executive functions that neurodivergent people struggle with including working memory, prioritisation and emotional regulation and shares 5 simple tips for listeners to try out, including:

  • Creating a launch pad to remember the essentials when you leave the house
  • Drawing a car park of ideas to help visualise your thoughts and manage impulse control
  • The 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 mindfulness technique to prevent spiralling and regulate emotions
  • Breaking up each day into Four Quadrants to approach every day with more flexibility

This isn’t another journal or planner that claims to organize your entire life because Ellie is the first to admit that she doesn’t have things under control 100% of the time. This also is not a book about how to fit into the neurotypical way of doing things (aka masking). Instead, Ellie reveals why society tells us that we ‘should’ do things (read: patriarchy, ableism, White supremacy) and shows us how we can all free ourselves of those expectations, feel empowered and, ultimately, be more YOU.

©2024 Ellie Middleton (P)2024 Penguin Audio
Mental Health Psychology Psychology & Mental Health Emotions Human Brain

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All stars
Most relevant  
I pre-ordered this and was looking forward to listening to it. As a late diagnosed autistic, I was hopeful this would help me navigate this new identity more successfully. The audiobook is really well narrated, and the overall structure of the book is brilliantly put together. There are practical suggestions and helpful key takeaways at the end of each section.

That said, I did find some of the narrative to be a little unhelpful at times. The anchoring of the narrative to the context of white supremacy and neoliberalist consumerism cultures is bang on, and important to bear in mind, but I did feel there was sometimes fatalistic. There is a lot of activist messaging, which is great, but despite how unfair or wrong things may be, they still are, so we need practical help to navigate it rather than simply saying it's wrong and shouldn't work like that. It is, of course, wrong, but we have to live in it anyway until things change. There are other times where some of the discussion misses the mark a bit - some pop neuroscience that relies on tropes and disproved ideas. Also some suggestions that are a bit dangerous like Tiktok being just as good a resource as published science, when there is a TON of harmful misinformation on social media. I get the point that the written word isn't always king, but careful context is needed.

A mixed bag

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I discovered I do lots of the things Ellie has described to enable me to be me and to cope with life but there are lots of adjustments that I want to try and apply to my life & way of being to further improve my quality of life. Thank you, thank you, thank you 🌻

Validating

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Brilliant sequel to Unmasked. Some great tips and hacks on how to navigate your neurodivergent brain to reach your full potential.

So informative

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