Hail and well met, book friends! We're feeling pretty silly as we close in on the final episodes of Season 9. We travel back to 10th century Bohemia to learn the story behind the popular Christmas carol "Good King Wenceslas". Join us for a very biblically-styled tale that taught us some things but failed to get us invested in the characters.

The author emailed us about his book and, usually when we get emails from authors or PR reps, it's not even worth consideration - but a medieval historical thriller? about a Christmas carol? In this century at this point in history? At this time of year? It only made sense to pop it onto the schedule for December.

Thanks to George himself for furnishing us with a free review copy of the book (and being willing to be featured on TBC with all that may entail)!

Musings and derailments include: Duke Abe Simpsovclav of Springfieldia, heavy metal months, Breastfeeding education, Paris’s Babadook terrors, and we struggle to poorly sing another song from the book (the titular carol)!

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode includes discussion or mention of parental abuse, sexual assault, and murder.

Chris found The Wife App by Carolyn Mackler out in the wild at a bookstore in NH when he was on a trip earlier this year. Considering apps themselves are often terrible, a book about an app seemed like a good candidate for the show.

Musings and derailments include: Chris gets really upset about the recurring stereotype of shitty musician boyfriends/husbands and we wonder about several things in the text such as British chins, sending cookies in Ubers, the power of polka dots, and babies smelling like fresh bread.

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode includes discussion or mention of infidelity, closeting, and the horrors of capitalism in app form.

This week we're discussing our experience reading Verity by Colleen Hoover. We selected this for today’s episode because it has appeared fairly often in reddit posts regarding bad books. Plus, we like to try to touch on current, popular authors when we can amidst the sea of deep weird terrible books we cover throughout the year.

Off-topic musings and derailments include: Paris Uses Maps About It™, the truth of our Dark Lord Mr. Peanut, and we struggle to solve this GRE murder problem.

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode includes discussion or mention of ableism and disability prejudice, abortion, child abuse, child death, murder, parental neglect, and sex.

We've released this as an alternate episode if today's regular episode is a bit too much for you on this particular day. Please enjoy the audio from a Patron-only video special from 2021 where Paris and The Mothman (Antiques Freaks Ken) play a guessing game that Chris created. You can find the original video version here if you'd like to see us in all of our three-years-ago-physical-glory.

We know you love the games we come up with sometimes here at TBC, so Chris has challenged Team MothParis to a game where they must choose which bands are real or from rock band romance novels and which musician names Chris made up.

Musings and derailments include: We learn that Terriblo's 2nd in command is The Mothman, Paris realizes she's been lied to by the anti-cryptid media, we sail away on the Nick Crandle Ferry, and are reminded of the horrors of the English language.

*The US general election is TODAY! Get out there and vote in person if you haven’t yet voted early or by mail. Head to vote.org for all the information you need to help you cast your ballot.*

We've released an alternate episode for you if today's regular episode is a bit too much to listen to on this particular day. Please enjoy the Patron-only video special from 2021 where Paris and The Mothman (Antiques Freaks Ken) play a romance novel guessing game that Chris created. You can find the audio-only version in our regular feed in your podcast app.

Musings and derailments in this episode include: jihadi dentists, Mt. Rushmore vs. the Grand Canyon, 100% Grade A Real Shadow Wolves, Shadow Dick Wolf, Degrees of Bubbas, how many men could a lawman law if a lawman could law men?

Referenced in this episode:

• Steven Seagal - Wikipedia

• Behind the Bastards did 3 whole episodes on Steven Seagal, one of which is also a review of this book, so if you really want to get pumped full of more 90s action hero history, you can check those out:

  • Part One: Steven Seagal Is So Much Worse Than You'd Ever Imagine

  • Part Two: Steven Seagal Is So Much Worse Than You'd Ever Imagine

  • Steven Seagal Wrote a Book (We Read It)

• Joe Arpaio - Wikipedia

• Tom Morrissey

• ICE Shadow Wolves

• Did 800 terrorists come over the Mexican border into the US in 2024?

• The Dark History Of The Texas Rangers (36 minute listen)

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode discusses or mentions: right-wing talking points (e.g. open borders/immigration, drug cartel violence, etc.), law enforcement worship, some magical native vibes, and a guest appearance from the R-slur.

This was recommended eons ago in the age of 2021 by Twitter user KirliaHookah who described this book as, “Hey what if we crossed Sabrina the Teenage Witch with Mean Girls poorly?" which turned out to be perfectly accurate.

Musings and derailments in this episode include: Chris's DeathNote powers, George Michael Clooney, the Dance of Tables, the limits of school guidance counselors, Chris's criminal past, and we play a magic word guessing game.

In addition to our barnyard langauge, today's episode includes discussion or mention of bullying.

Happy Octoberween, dear listeners! In honor of the season, we bring you some spook-adjacent books for October's episodes. Today, our favorite guest Mary Parker is back with the sequel to The Phantom of the Opera musical - in book form! Although it was also turned into a musical, but remember this book is not the sequel to the original Phantom of the Opera book by Gaston Leroux...yeah.

Musings and derailments in this episode include: the morning routine underneath the Opera Populaire, Paris transforms into Girl Boss Mammon, Mary becomes a Valley Girl Priest, and Chris plays God.

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode includes discussion or mention of ableism, accidents leading to physical disfigurement, guns, murder, and suicide.

Julius the Nice Dragon offered us a true Patron's Choice: Return to The Dunks or choose a new path. We still had plenty of iced coffees to trade, so we made the only choice we could as Bostonians.

We rarely recommend prerequisites for episodes, but we think you should check out our review of the first book in this series before listening to today's episode because a) it's a good episode and b) we'll address elements of the series in that episode that we skipped today: Episode 165 - First, Impressions (Book #1 of Last Intentions) by SJ Saunders Patron’s Choice

Musings and derailments in this episode include: Boston, the MBTA, Mass Metal Gear Solid, store brand names, and a brief glimpse into Fourth Wing horrors (this was recorded much earlier this year and was perhaps where Chris got his idea to surprise Paris on the 200th episode).

*Local primaries and the general election are both coming up fast! Head to vote.org to check your voter registration, register to vote, preview your next ballot, or request a mail-in or absentee ballot.*

Referenced in this episode:

• Weird Studies - Visions of the Wasteland: On George Miller's 'Mad Max' Films: On the post-apocalyptic sci-fi glory of the Mad Max franchise
• Folding Ideas - Contrepreneurs: The Mikkelsen Twins: Another fantastic Dan Olson piece on a book publishing MLM/pyramid scheme/scam

In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode discusses body horror, action-movie violence, suicide, guns/weapons, and medical experimentation like cloning, mind control, and genetic alteration.