I used to believe that for every good thing that happened to me, something bad had to happen as well to even it out, like a universal balancing system. Every time something good was going to happen, I always thought to myself, “What will the payback be?” In my years of experience working with and talking to women, I have learned that lots of women live with this fear, often for a long time.

Listen in as I talk about why we have this fear, acknowledge that you’re not crazy for having it, and how to shift out of this kind of thinking so you can live your life with freedom instead of fear.

In this episode I discuss:

• How fear keeps you from taking risks - and how this protects and hinders us
• How negativity bias is a symptom of adrenal overload
• The role of the amygdala in fear
• How your brain remembers threats
• How negative emotions get attached to positive emotions
• What happens when we go into fight or flight mode
• What intuition really is
• How to get out of this fear
• The power of neuroplasticity
• The importance of being aware of your feelings
• How to use cognitive disruption to shift from fear to freedom
• Why I love taking deep breaths
• The value of journaling
• How to practice forgiveness

Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements

Why does it feel like no matter how much we do, it’s never enough—Including—and especially—in our mothering?

It’s no wonder we feel this way! Societal changes have created a culture that ties worth to performance, often at the expense of our health and happiness, while macroeconomic trends that have shifted the way we think about work, education, and success, making it entirely focussed on external standards of achievement.

In this thought-provoking episode, I sit down with Jennifer Wallace, journalist and author of Never Enough, to dive into the toxic achievement culture that’s shaping our lives—and the lives of our kids.

Together, we explore how this relentless pursuit of external success is leaving us exhausted, disconnected, and questioning our self-worth. We also dig into what really matters—connection, purpose, and a sense of belonging—and how we can reclaim these values for ourselves and our families.

Join us as we go deep into our own personal journeys as women and moms, and along the way talk about:

• The Cost of Toxic Achievement: Macroeconomic trends—like rising inequality, job instability, and the increasing cost of living—are amplifying the push to achieve at any cost. But the evidence is clear: more external success doesn’t lead to happier or healthier lives.
• What We’ve Lost: The modern obsession with productivity has left less time for the things that truly nourish us—community, hobbies, connection, and learning for its own sake.
• The Power of Mattering: Kids thrive when they feel valued for who they are, not what they accomplish. And it’s up to us as parents to model that sense of worth by healing our own relationship with achievement—including feeling that the our kids’ success is a measure of our own worth, from where they were born to how long they breastfed to what schools they go to and who they are as adults.
• Healing Generational Wounds: Unexamined beliefs and "ghosts" from our own upbringing often push us toward extrinsic measures of success. By addressing these wounds, we can break the cycle and redefine what matters for ourselves and our kids.
• Reclaiming What Matters: Research shows that relationships—not status or money—are the strongest predictors of happiness, fulfillment, and resilience. We explore practical ways to prioritize relationships, joy, and intrinsic fulfillment over endless striving and external rewards.

If you’re ready to let go of the pressure to achieve and embrace a more meaningful, connected life, this episode is for you. Share it with a friend who might need the reminder that they’re already enough, and let’s start a movement toward true fulfillment—together.

This episode is a compassionate call to reevaluate what really matters. The relentless push for more isn’t the path to happiness, for ourselves, or for our kiddos. Instead, it’s connection, purpose, and a sense of belonging that truly nourish us.

📖 Never Enough by Jennifer Wallace offers even more insights and is a must-read for parents and caregivers.

💬 Let’s continue this conversation on Instagram: @DrAvivaRomm.

Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements

Mentioned in this episode:

Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements

Intergenerational trauma refers to the transmission of unresolved trauma and its psychological, emotional, or even physical effects from one generation to another. This phenomenon can manifest in various ways, impacting individuals' mental health, coping mechanisms, and relational patterns. The cycle of intergenerational trauma underscores the importance of acknowledging, understanding, and actively addressing inherited wounds to break free from its influence on future generations.

On today’s On Health episode, I’m joined by the incredible Mariel Buque, PhD, author of Break the Cycle: who wants us all to learn to unravel the threads of family trauma, and becoming cycle breakers so we can heal the burdens of suffering carried forward by so many families across generations.

In this powerful episode, we explore:

• What intergenerational trauma is and how it can affect our physiology, mental health, relationships, economics, and more.
• The profound connections between our individual experiences and the echoes of our ancestors' pain.
• Resilience and stress tolerance as essential tools for breaking the intergenerational trauma cycle.
• How to expand your window of resilience and respond to life's challenges with greater awareness and purpose."
• How compassion becomes a powerful ally, fostering understanding and acceptance of our shared human struggles."
• How mothers can be preemptive cycle breakers, initiating the healing journey even before conceiving.
• The landscape of family estrangement and tools for reconciliation before resorting to estrangement.
• Mariel's approach centers around the concept of an upward spiral, emphasizing small, consistent mindful actions for reshaping the nervous system.

Resources for those seeking guidance, including Mariel's book, "Break the Cycle: A Guide to Healing Intergenerational Trauma."

Join us in this episode's transformative conversation on health, healing, and well-being, as we become architects of a future unburdened by the weight of generational pain.

Please share the love by sending this to someone in your life who could benefit from the kinds of things we talk about in this space. Make sure to follow me on Instagram @dr.avivaromm to join the conversation.

Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements