Unconditional Parenting cover art

Unconditional Parenting

Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason
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Unconditional Parenting

By: Alfie Kohn
Narrated by: Alfie Kohn
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About this listen

One basic need all children have, educator Alfie Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including "time outs"), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful and largely unknown research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send.

More than just another book about discipline, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from "doing to" to "working with" parenting - including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people.

©2005 Alfie Kohn (P)2016 Tantor Parenting & Families Relationships School-Age Children Teenagers Inspiring

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All stars
Most relevant  
I enjoyed this book because it
> coherently articulates what's dangerous about how we mindlessly control our kid's
> Identifies parental fears
>Gives reasons as to why most parents fall into the usual traps
>Gives very practical strategies of how we can build more harmonious and happier relationships
> speaks to reason
> I didn't feel the need to make notes as it just brings to light principles we hold in our heart but have been made to ignore by the way we were raised and how society is shaped today.

What I didn't enjoy so much :)
>some points were overly laboured
>Authors tone of voice was at times patronising but also very passionate so overall it didn't matter.

This is my favourite book on parenting so far. I've previously read
> The brain child
> Raising our children raising ourselves
> The book you wish your parents had read

Bring an end to the power struggle with kids

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I’m sure the world would be a better place if every parent read this book! I found it challenging, refreshing, thought provoking and helpful. I feel that I am able to parent better now than before reading it. I found Alfie Kohns narration style takes a bit of getting used to but it is well worth it! Give it a go- your children will thank you!

Refreshing and thought provoking parenting book

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I loved everything about this book and how to involve your children and see them as individuals that has a say in their life too!

Such an amazing and very insightful book

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Told in an engaging and energetic way, this book opens your eyes to the impact of our everyday actions on kids. If, like me, you feel there must be a more connected way to raising little ones than what you might have experienced during your own childhood, this book provides strong arguments and tools to help you do just that.

Strong arguments and tools to do things differently

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Powerful message, well delivered. It’s making me think about how I’ve parented and I will make changes.

Powerful message

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Alfie Kohn is very inspiring, I have not only purchase the audible, I have purchased a few of his books. I wish others in power would share these values, children's lives would be so much better.

Absolutely Brilliant, very informative .

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I really enjoyed this book and it put into coherent words a lot of thoughts and ideas our family has had regarding parenting approaches.
A good listen for any parent.
Techinically audio and reader voice were also easy to listen to.

Put into words a lot of thoughts

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Well written, explained and researched. Would recommend this to any parent or career of young children.

Excellent

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If you open your mind to the worldview of Alfie Kohn presented in this book then it will change your life! Or it has for me. Rather than suggesting a parenting methodology, this book presents a parenting philosophy. It will certainly be difficult to change my actions in accordance with my new beliefs about human cognition and behaviour, but I'm excited to try!

Thought provoking and uplifting

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I liked the documentation of the studies, conclusions and examples. Accessible vocabulary and phrases, good reading.

Excelent content! to be teached all over!

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