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The Devil Inside

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The Devil Inside

By: Nicky James
Narrated by: Nick J. Russo
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About this listen

Their love was innocent and pure…

Until they were forced to believe differently.

Until they were brutally schooled on the “right” way to love.

Oakland is not gay.

Jameson is not gay.

Being gay is wrong. It is immoral. It is a sickness they must fight. It is the devil inside that needs to be purged.

At least that’s what they’ve been conditioned to believe.

They’ve spent years trudging through the wreckage left behind after eight months in conversion therapy as teenagers.

When their lives collide again fifteen years later, the denial they’ve lived with for years gets harder and harder to fight.

They loved each other once. Can two broken men find a way to love each other again?

The Devil Inside is a higher angst, second chance, MM Romance novel with a HEA.

**Please heed trigger warnings.**

©2020 Nicky James (P)2022 Nicky James Romance

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If this story doesn’t break your heart you don’t have one. Where this author finds the strength to keep coming up with stories so real and so emotional amazes me. This is another example. Two high school guys, coming from religious families, who parents find out these two best friends are gay so what do these religious people do but send their son’s to Conversion therapy. There they are separated and totally abused. This story picks up 15 years later when the men are grown and have not seen each other since before the therapy. Purely by accident they run across each other. Both have had destructive behaviors and are trying to find help. Both believe there is something wrong. One is unhappily married to a woman he loves but more in a bff way. He tries but is on the downside of handling the marriage. He has taken to pills and drink to try and block out what he doesn’t want to face. The other drinks and physically harms himself. When they meet, they are forced to face where they are headed. This has it’s positive moments but it also made me mad to think parents could do this to their children. Again, I just can’t imagine what it takes from this author to be able to write this. The narration by Nick J Russo really brought all the characters to life. He does an excellent job of giving each character their own voice.

Beyond emotional

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Loved this audio! The story itself is really painful and emotional, and the narrator did an amazing job with this one. Giving life to these characters...it was just amazing.

I love this book and I don't know why it isn't in the top (probably because of the angst o meter in this one, lol).

The characters are both in denial, but gladly their eyes open up slowly. Two broken soul, one love story.

This book was just as beautiful and painful as the other ones by Nicky. I fell in love with the story and loved reading Oak and JJ 's relationsip. The addictions both had, and the way they tried to find the light and accept themself and their feelings. It was beautifully written. How can something be this painful and beautiful at the same time?

JJ's POV was hardest and he suffered more, and I hurt for him and Oak too. Oakland's life was a bit lighter but the same dark as JJ's. Those things they went through in their teenage life was horrible.

Loved it and highly recommend.

Emotional, painful,beautiful and amazing narration

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Oh my days, my heart has been ripped to shreds, while making my blood boil...
This is not a light and entertaining story, it's one that will have you questioning how people can be
so evil, they must have the devil inside.

So much despair !
So much anger !
So much hatred !
And so many masks...

How can two men come back from such trauma inflicted on them as children, it almost feels impossible.
Both Oakland and Jameson battle depression, addiction, self hatred and so much more on a daily basis.
Just to function they have to wear so many different masks, and pretend that they are living, when all
they feel are worthless and a burden, they really must have the devil inside, they deserve punishment.

Nicky James is in a league of her own when it comes to characters struggling with mental illness of all kinds.
The depth of torment and levels of despair she writes about are astonishing, I felt the anguish that both
Oakland and Jameson lived through, I ached for them. I detest Conversion Therapy with a passion.
She may have dragged them through hell but she also brought them back to each other and into the light.
Her writing is just amazing and her characters come in all shapes and sizes and quirks and needs.

This story will break you, yet by the end you will believe in the goodness humanity again.

Nick J Russo did a remarkable job with this story, I felt the anguish in their voices and even flinched
at the level of self hatred pouring from Jameson's mouth, definitely worthy of praise.

My heart is shattered !!!

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This is such an emotional and raw story. I read it when it was first released and I'm pleased that it is now on audio. sometimes when listening to an audio book you get the emotions more and this certainly did that. My heart broke several times. These two broken men have been through so much . They were childhood friends but were caught kissing and were sent to conversation therapy which really messed them up. Fast forward some years and they meet in a support group and slowly reconnect. it isn't easy but they both work hard.

emotional story

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You have done it again nicky you kept me wanting to hear this book until the end brilliant .These books are captivating. narrator was perfection as always.

The devil inside

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Listener received this title free

Oh my god .....another amazing audio by Nicky James blown away by the book and audio is something else performed by Nick J Russo who has captured both Jameson & Oakland perfectly he brings out all the pain anguish, torment and despair that both of these go through struggling with mental illness battle depression addiction, self hatred he's nailed it you feel it all it breaks you apart and puts you back together you need a tissue i can't recommend it enough absolutely brilliant well done. 💖💖

Simply Magnificent ❤️❤️

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Story: My heart broke in the first few minutes of the story and was meticulously put back together. The story is so genuine and visceral, with no punches held, that it took my breath away. I loved it! Another Nicky James hit!
Narration: great performance! Just what the story needed to get it to the next level!

So painfully brilliant

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No one writes angst like Nicky James. This audio was dark, devastating, and incredibly emotional. It ripped my heart out and left me bleeding emotions all over the place. Please pay attention to the trigger warnings, because there were frequent mentions of addictive behaviors, mental illness, and homophobia.

Oakland and Jamison's lives were an absolute mess at the beginning of this story. As conversion therapy survivors, they carried an intense weight with them every day. Haunted by their past and full of self-hate, these men were battling to make it through. It was brutal to listen to their struggle without an end in sight. Nick Russo's narration was fantastic, in the sense that I felt wrecked and completely unable to pull myself away from the story once I'd started. For most of the audio, I couldn't see a way for Oakland or Jamison to pursue a real relationship without falling back into toxic thoughts and bad habits. Their journey was very slow and full of backsliding and second-guessing. It painted an honest picture of how hard it is to accept yourself when you've been conditioned to think differently. I'm in awe of how well Nicky explored these difficult topics while still giving these men the happy ending they deserved.

**I voluntarily listened to a free copy of this book. This review expresses my honest thoughts and opinions.

Such an amazing, emotional story

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