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The Absolutely, Positively, 100% Ridiculous Guide to Being a Kid

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The Absolutely, Positively, 100% Ridiculous Guide to Being a Kid

By: Dustin Gross
Narrated by: Gary Roelofs
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About this listen

A laugh-out-loud survival guide for middle school mischief-makers!

Charlie McGillicutty isn’t a troublemaker—he’s a scientist of chaos. Unfortunately, his latest experiment (involving a hamster-powered rocket) goes slightly wrong, earning him permanent lunch duty and a ridiculous punishment: write the Ultimate Guide to Being a Kid… or else.

With his partners-in-mischief—Maya "The Menace" Patel, Felix "The Brain" Johnson, and Chaos the Ferret (actual criminal record pending)—Charlie embarks on a completely scientific, not-at-all disastrous investigation into The Sacred Laws of Childhood:
If it looks like a button, you must press it (consequences optional)
The five-second rule is totally real (it’s not.)
Never trust cafeteria lasagna (you WILL see God.)
Ferrets make terrible getaway drivers.

Great for:
Kids who love humor and adventure
Reluctant listeners (short chapters + hilarious chaos!)
Anyone who knows school is just controlled mayhem

Grab this hilarious middle-grade comedy today—just don’t let the principal catch you listening to it in class!

©2025 Dustin Gross (P)2025 Dustin Gross
Humorous Fiction Literature & Fiction Funny Witty Comedy Middle Grade

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