
Me, But Better
The Science and Promise of Personality Change
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Narrated by:
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Olga Khazan
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By:
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Olga Khazan
About this listen
In recent years, Olga Khazan had been spiraling toward an existential crisis. Though she treasured her loving, long-term relationship and her dream job, she often caught herself snatching dissatisfaction from the jaws of happiness. Her neurotic overachieving had always been a professional asset, but lately, Olga felt that her brittle disposition could shatter under the weight of just one more thing. She knew something had to give-but was it really possible to change her entire approach to life?
In Me, But Better, Olga embarks on a year-long experiment to see if it's truly possible to change your personality, sample size: one. Scientifically, personality consists of five sliding-scale traits: extroversion (how sociable you are); conscientiousness (how self-disciplined and organized you are); agreeableness (how warm and empathetic you are); openness (how receptive you are to new ideas and activities); and neuroticism (how depressed or anxious you are). But research shows that you can alter these traits by consistently behaving in ways that align with the kind of person you'd like to be. And that, in turn, can make you happier, healthier, and more successful.
So, for one year, Olga decided to fake it until she made it. She reluctantly clicked "yes" on a bucket list of new experiences, from meditation to improv to sailing, that forced her to at least act happy, healthy, and well-adjusted, in the hope that she would actually become those things. With a skeptic's eye, Olga brings you on her personal journey through the science of personality, presenting evidence-backed techniques to change your mind for the better. Based on her viral article in The Atlantic, Me, But Better is a probing inquiry into what it means to live a fulfilling life, and how you can keep diving into change, no matter how uncomfortable it feels.
What listeners say about Me, But Better
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- Big C
- 29-03-25
Not actually another bland self help thing
In short - Highly recommended.
I got this because an excerpt was published in a behavioural science book club - Behavioral Scientist if you're interested.
Despite my review title there is actually a pretty big self help element to it but its written in a really personable and easy to read way that is genuinely involving. It's an interesting mix of personal stories and academic insight and the subjects are discussed in a balanced fashion. Like most behavioural books it has some interesting points that make you go mmmm? It also had a couple of laugh out loud sections and is unusually honest in regards the journey the author undertook and the success or lack of it that she experienced.
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- Sian Wood
- 13-04-25
Not the book if your interest is trait psychology
I bought this after hearing the author speak on YouTube as a guest which was far more interesting than the book. I'm interested in trait psychology so I thought the book was about that. It is a bit but mostly a five hour poor me whine with a bit about trait change thrown in. Far too much story telling to fluff out the book. I persevered for about four hours but gave up on getting any new insights. I don't even let my friends whine about their life for that long.
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