Diddly Squat cover art

Diddly Squat

A Year on the Farm

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Diddly Squat

By: Jeremy Clarkson
Narrated by: Jeremy Clarkson
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About this listen

Brought to you by Penguin.

Welcome to Jeremy's farm. It's an idyllic spot, offering picturesque views across the Cotswolds, bustling hedgerows, woodlands and natural springs. Jeremy always liked the idea of being a farmer. But, while he was barrelling around the world having more fun with cars than was entirely reasonable, it seemed obvious that the actual, you know, farming was much better left to someone else.

Then one day he decided he would do the farming himself.

After all, how hard could it be?

Well...

Faced with suffocating red tape, biblical weather, local objections, a global pandemic and his own frankly staggering ignorance of how to 'do farming', Jeremy soon realises that turning the farm around is going to take more than splashing out on a massive tractor.

Fortunately, there's help at hand from a large and (mostly) willing team, including girlfriend Lisa, Kaleb the tractor driver, cheerful Charlie, Ellen the shepherd and Gerald, his head of security and dry stone waller. Between them they enthusiastically cultivate crops, rear livestock and hens, keep bees, bottle spring water and open a farm shop. But profits remain elusive.

And yet, while the farm may be called Diddly Squat for good reason, Jeremy soon begins to understand that it's worth a whole lot more to him than pounds, shillings and pence....

©2021 Jeremy Clarkson (P)2021 Penguin Audio
Entertainment & Celebrities Celebrity Funny Thought-Provoking Witty

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Critic reviews

"The best thing Clarkson's done...it pains me to say this." (Guardian)

"Shockingly hopeful." (Independent)

"Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here." (Telegraph)

All stars
Most relevant  
Having watched the series, i was dubious about the book being a repeat of what i had already watched on tv. But it was actually amazing and funny. I think that the fact it was read by Jeremy Clarkson too made it even better as you can hear how much he enjoyed farming and the lengthy battles that it presents a farmer in the UK.
DEFINITELY recommend to anyone.

Brilliant Book

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Good old bit of Clarkson, love the brilliant way he puts things into words, and making them funny.

Classic😄

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Jeremy’ writing and delivery is spot on. Made me chuckle, a lot and on a serious point make you realise what a though job farming is in many ways

Love it

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Excellent humorous book,hope there's a follow up.Well worth the money and Clarkson at his best.

Excellent

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Informative and endearing, I have been re-won over to the group of people who would call themselves fans of Clarkson's. I liked him for a time then he got in my nerves a bit then when he punched one of his servants I didn't like him at all, but now I am coming back to him again and will probably watch his series on Prime about this farm.

informative and endearing

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Jeremy Clarkson is funny. His how on Amazon was funny and this audiobook is funny. I know he is also marmite, but in my opinion this is funny. If you saw the series you will like this. Bravo. Come on Amazon commission another season.

LOVE IT!

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Brilliant just brilliant I am and always have been a farmer and still find it thoroughly amusing
Never a truer word said

Well done Jeremy keep going

Brilliant

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fantastic news about his farm in the Cotswolds.
Told me everything I had to know.

Amazing

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Yes it’s short but god it’s amusing.

Jeremy Clarkson on a farm, expressing his opinion. Brilliant listening. Can’t wait for the follow up and yes hope it’s longer.

Jeremy Clarkson delivers!

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How can you cover 18 months farming in 2.5 hours. answer Clarkson and the £10 note.
Nothing new

Short

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